Corona virus Blahs

Isn’t this a crazy time of our lives? The corona virus has most of us turned upside down.  We have learned some new terms, like “social distancing” and “flattening the curve.” Many healthy, low-risk people feel that they have been unpleasantly inconvenienced during this time of isolation and economic slowdown. I became “inconvenienced” 15 months ago when I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma and throat cancer. Life changed quickly and became quite unpleasant. Let me share my parallel experience to the corona virus; some thoughts on jolting, involuntary life changes; and perhaps a path to catharsis.

1. Loss of personal independence I completely lost control of my calendar, my plans and my priorities.  They were no longer determined by me; they were now determined for me. I had to overcome that frustrating and terrifying loss of control and listen to others who were caring for me and establishing the parameters of how I would live my day-to-day life. Coping during lock down has been a similar experience. News flash: Control over my life and schedule was never really mine. There was a higher power pulling the strings-this was his plan all along, not mine. It has taken me a long time to let go of my need and desire to control what happens in my daily life and I’m not completely there yet. It’s a work in progress as I try to understand and accept that I am not always the master of my domain.  This corona virus is not in the realm of your control, even though it may be dominating your life. Go with the flow, roll with punches, don’t get angry, it is out of your hands.   The only thing you can control is your attitude.  Try to be a positive force in this “new normal” and create good karma for you and those around you. Set short term goals over which you may have more control-clean the garage, write the business plan you couldn’t get done in the past, paint a room, help a senior with groceries, complete your taxes. Trust that your long term goals will be met…in the longer term.
2. Being the victim. The situation sucks, you are not where you want to be and not doing what you want to do. Do you deserve attention and pity? Remember there are always others that are less fortunate…and have better attitudes. I found those “unfortunates” to be my inspiration. In my case, they were friends with permanent health issues and other cancer survivors. During this pandemic those “unfortunates” may be also be the ones on the front lines of this scourge, like nurses, doctors, and civic leaders.  They have forged new paths during this period, accepting the unprecedented challenges, dangers and/or harsh working conditions, and they have summarily earned our respect. No one is responsible for this pandemic or its aftermath-blame the pandemic. Be an inspiration to others around you and model behavior for those less fortunate.
3. Letting the treatment be worse than the cure.  The goal is to be safe and secure. Sometimes the remedy is hard and distasteful. It’s easy to forget your initial predicament.  Get back to that starting point...do you want to be back there? Did I want cancer? No! Be thankful. As my former NY roommate Dave smith once said, “look at the doughnut not the hole.” We have come a long way since the beginning of this pandemic and our isolation. We know more about the disease, how to protect ourselves and how to move forward.

How to get out of this funk?

1. Recognize gratefulness. Start a gratitude list. Your list will get longer every day. My list consists of several institutions: Mayo Clinic, American Cancer Society/Hope House, family members, new and old friends, cancer survivors etc.  The list will renew your faith in humanity and will bring a smile to your face.
2.  Notice random small acts of kindness. Thank and reward those persons with kind words and acts. Let the circle be unbroken.
3. Appreciate and renew relationships. Call or text someone you have not communicated for a long time. They will be glad to hear from you and are probably just waiting for that call.  It will boost both your spirits.

You can’t get through these times without others, and they can’t get through it without you.  Thank God!
 

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